Nah, bruh, see, its like a white Christmas, ya see. See the way the lil' baggies shimmer in the light, like. Theys beautiful. Wait till Destiny sees them, bruh, she'll go orff her nut, she will. 'N the best bit, bruh, if ya ain't feeling the Christmas cheer, ya just crack open one and sprinkle the ol' wind pipes with some snow. Nah, bruh, what's wrong with ya, I'd never let the kids near them, that's why them up high, see, like. If the lil' ones get one they'll smash it, huv you seen a kid all snorted up, like? Funniest shit ya'll eva see.
Des stood at the door in disbelief.
"Sargent, are you sure this is the right address?"
"Yes sir, the GPS places us right here."
It was time to retire. If an acronym now determined where you were instead of your own eyes, then his days of policing were over.
He didn't believe Terry when he approached him with the pictures. A Christmas tress decorated with bags of cocaine. He asked Terry to explain it to him one more time. Like he was an idiot.
The drug dealer posted photos of his Christmas tree on Tik Tok. People can see where it was posted from.
Des still didn't understand.
"So, behind this door is a drug dealer who has a Christmas tree decorated with bags of cocaine."
"And twenty pount notes."
"Nothing wrong with twenty pound notes," Des asked.
"Proceeds of crime," Terry said.
"Righto, do we message the dealer, do we?"
Terry looked confused. "Perhaps knock on the door?"
Sure enough, the tree was decorated with bags of cocaine.
As Terry did the paperwork, Des wrote his letter of resignation. He wasn't going to spend his days searching for stupid criminals scrolling on his phone. He'd become a security guard and walk the beat like in the old days.